![]() ![]() ![]() Much of which has been systematically covered up and swept away in order to protect reputations and careers. Apparently, it resonated, and it’s been a bit of a running joke.Ī few months later, and the dam has broken on uncovering years of appalling rampant sexual abuse/harassment by high-ranking men in business, entertainment, and government. I suggested we could simplify it and call it “How Not to Be a Jerk”. While we were discussing communication styles, my friend and fellow #HRTribe’er Anne Tomkinson commented on the silly names she’s seen on training on how to talk to women (as if it’s some closely-guarded secret). But apparently not everyone was listening.Ī few months ago, I was participating in #NextChat on Women in HR Tech. Use safe hands – we keep our hands to ourselves.“Don’t hand me no lines, and keep your hands to yourself.” Way back in 1986 ( that was 31 years ago, can you believe it?), the Georgia Satellites summed it up pretty well. When we have to wait for something, we should: It can be hard to wait, but it will keep others happy and keep us out of trouble if we always use safe hands. Narrator: By using safe hands and waiting his turn, Tommy still got to play on the computer and others had good feelings about him. Tommy: I’m gald I used safe hands while I waited my turn. Sam: (thought bubble) I’m glad Tommy waited his turn so I could finish playing. He knew that nobody likes it when other people touch them. Narrator: That time, Tommy used safe hands while waiting for what he wanted. What can I do while I’m waiting? (looks around) I can see if I can read that book for a bit. Tommy: (inner thought) I feel really mad. Let’s watch when Tommy makes a better choice. Tommy should have kept safe hands and waited his turn. Nobody likes it when other people touch them. Narrator: Sam was feeling mad that Tommy tried to take the computer from her. Tommy: (thought bubble) I wanted to play on the computer! Sam’s been on the computer for 20 minutes already! ![]() Narrator: How did Tommy feel when he had to wait? Sam: (thought bubble) I don’t want to be friends with Tommy. Narrator: Tommy didn’t wait his turn and got in Sam’s space. You’re not getting any computer time today. Teacher: (background voice) Tommy, stop that. Tommy: (forces his way to use the computer) But I want a turn right now! Sam: You can have a turn when I’m finished. Now, let’s see what happens when Tommy does and does not use safe hands. If we feel angry, or like we might hurt someone, we stop right away and tell an adult we need a break. We can pick another toy to play with, take deep breaths, or make a new plan. If we’re feeling frustrated, we can use strategies to stay calm. Narrator: When we have to wait for something, we always use safe hands. Better choices to help us wait are take deep breaths, pick another item, or make a new plan.īoy1: (brain scan – stay calm options, takes a deep breath, pulls out a book) I’ll read this book until it’s my turn to play with the truck. Narrator: If we have to wait, we can make sure we stay calm. We can say, “Can I use that?” or “Can I have a turn with that?” Narrator: Instead of taking something, we can use our words to ask for it. When we take things and put our hands on other people, it can make them feel upset and not want to play with us.īoy2: I don’t want to play with you anymore. Safe hands means keeping our hands to ourselves. Narrator: We might want to just reach out and take something, but we have to keep safe hands. Narrator: We might not like it when we have to wait.īoy1: (goes to Boy2 to take the truck) Give me that! Narrator: Waiting means we don’t get to do something right away.īoy1: (to Boy2) Can I play with that? (points at truck) Narrator: Sometimes we have to wait for the things we want.īoy1: (looking at Boy2’s truck, internal thought) I want to play with the truck. ![]()
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